He’s authored or co-authored sixteen books about relationships. In this book, he and Trent teach you how to honor your spouse, keep courtship alive, and rebuild trust. They also explore how to put your family first.
17. The Love Fix: Repair and Restore Your Relationship Right Now – Tara Fields PhD
The trick is knowing which conflict surface during a fight. After you identify it, then you can explore fears you might harbor.
Her final step teaches partners to get in touch with their needs so that they can grow together. The focus is on developing gratitude, respect, and trust.
18. To Have and to Hold: Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma – Molly Millwood PhD
Bonus reading: The following books aren’t specifically about marriage. They are about self-improvement and personal growth. Oftentimes, focusing on the self is a way to improve one’s relationships with others.
19. One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way – Robert Maurer Ph.D.
This might seem an odd addition to this list, but it’s filled with gems. For example, Maurer asserts that from a spiritual perspective people have two fears. The fear of inadequacy and a fear of losing control. What could happen in a relationship if each partner understood this?
He gives this example to illustrate the point. Imagine your partner becomes angry because you’re having a great time talking with someone else. If you understand that their fear is not being good enough, how might you respond differently? He goes on to say that no negotiation can happen unless and until you understand the fears of all involved.
Maurer offers another salient example of how adults dismiss their fears. When a child wakes in the middle of the night because of a nightmare, where does the child run? To the parent in almost every instance. We’re wired to seek support from people around us. As adults, we begin to learn to suppress our fears. We even give fear labels like stress, anxiety, and anger. He points out that successful people identify their fears as fears.
In your relationship, what are your fears? Assuming you’re not in an abusive relationship, they’re likely to fall into the two categories above.
20. Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life – Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles
A sense of purpose provides an internal compass. Waking up each day without one is like navigating an ocean during a storm.
Once you know your purpose, what are the odds that you’ll begin attracting people to you who share it? How can knowing and communicating your purpose positively affect your relationships?
Not sure yet if you want to buy this book? Then read our introduction to Ikigai, as well as recommended Ikigai books and Ikigai quotes for more insight.
It’s not over, ’til it’s over. When you’re sick and tired of being “sick and tired,” then you’re in a position to make changes. This holds true for troubled relationships. If one or both of you still have skin in the game, then therapy could be a good fit.
Put as much if not more energy into the small positive aspects of your relationship that are working. Build on those.
Take the tips to heart and try them all before giving up. You owe it to yourself and your marriage.
We’re not trying to get back to the way we were. That’s impossible. That would mean neither of you changed from the time you married to however many years later. How likely is that? Each moment or interaction we experience changes or influences us in some way.